Honestly, I don't. But these days it seems that's all I'm doing because things just keep going sideways.
Just today, for instance, I found out at my midwife appointment that my gbs swab tested positive. The midwife has gone through it all thoroughly with me so I'm trying not to be stressed or worried but, of course, I am.
Why have so many things gone sideways during this pregnancy?
Actually, the first pregnancy went sideways as well. I was in my fifth month when I lost my job due to the economic crisis, then my grandmother passed away at Christmas when I was in my 7th month. We couldn't sell our home but moved back to Victoria anyway when I was 8 months pregnant to be closer to family and therefore had to pay out alot more money monthly. And finally, I tested positive for gestational diabetes and was therefore induced 3 times because of fears for "big baby" (he was 9 lbs by the way, not tiny but not huge in my books!).
This time around, I got a new job at the same time I discovered that I was almost 12 weeks pregnant (yup, almost bypassed the whole first trimester without knowing!), we ended up in a personal financial crisis that has caused alot of stress, we moved when I was 8 months pregnant into a bigger rental, Again I've had gestational diabetes and finally, the positive gbs swab which I previously mentioned.
Seriously, I need to have a third baby just to try and have one pregnancy where everything goes somewhat smoothly!
Yes, I know, that isn't a solution. And yes, I also know that overall, things could have been so much worse and I should be very happy that I have a wonderful, supportive husband, a beautiful 20 month old son and a new bundle of joy arriving soon. And I am grateful, truly I am. I'm just having an extremely hard time staying out of overwhelm and focussing on everything that it good.
So my question for all of you is this:
When things keep going sideways and nothing seems to be going the way you planned it to go, what do you do to "keep the faith" and not drown in the madness of it all?
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.
-- Joseph Campbell
-- Joseph Campbell
I was positive for group B strep with the boy too, which meant I needed antibiotics as my water broke early. We were really hoping to get by without any needles (my husband is very uncomfy with needles) and I couldn't go in the tub during labour as there was meconium when my water broke...I have the feeling pregnancy is so not about us parents...its just the start of a relationship that's entirely about the child!! :D
ReplyDeleteAmber :)